The Legacy of Love..

My grandkids are the epitome of love. One is either princess Sophia or Belle depending on her mood.
The younger sibling just wants her share of attention and she will fight for it. On one hand she has little time for an older sibling who imagines herself to be a princess and on the other hand she simply adores and strives to do everything that her princess sibling does. 

Together they can be a handful but they fill my heart to its absolute brim. The laughter and the eagerness to express that joy is an incredible feeling of being  complete. Yet a  little kid’s capacity to love is telling. First it removes a mindset of over analysis  because this love is pure and very spontaneous. A child  teaches one how to love. Can a grown up love like a child? Yes, it takes practise to be as spontaneous as a child and just as special. A child is manipulative but innocent. So kids could be naughty, spoilt or downright impertinent but that quality of
‘no intent’ lingers and it makes grandparents wobbly. Grandparents treat their kids differently. They call it upbringing which often requires a parent to be judgemental. Why does the same persons change as grandparents.

I surmise that grandparents are enroute to becoming childlike. They accept more than they did as parents. They have far more empathy than they ever had for their kids. They do not expect their grandkids to be perfect but the very same parents want   perfection from their kids. In return grandkids don’t rebel like kids do because no one rebels against a parent or grandparent who embraces acceptance.

Acceptance does not mean that one fails to  teach one’s  offspring values. On the contrary one teaches values without an expectation of perfection allowing kids to figure a lot out for themselves.

A child cries for ice cream and if they are spoilt they will have a tantrum. As soon as they are distracted they happily continue whatever they are doing with no recollection of what was a very upsetting episode just five minutes ago.

This is really an  art of switching off. It inspires  one to practice this type of  detachment. Kids are attached to a doll or a pet rabbit but they are not attached to a position they took. There is seldom a high-level of principled pride that makes them not want to change their position. A kid knows instinctively how to let go.

As a parent who does not have biological children I am often afflicted with sensitivities which curtail many happy moments. I  constantly question whether my daughter accepts me as a father. Sometimes my  perceptions become my demons that feed on  inadequacy.

All of this until my daughter had kids.

They love me immensely  without any labels. I figure that this is the  trick. Don’t label love. Just accept each day as a gift and accept difficult  interactions with balance. The responsibilities of work, family and even having to deal  with oneself is very stressful. How exactly do we cope. Like a child, I will venture. Just let it go. Regroup and find something else which captivates you. Love at your own pace and with your own choice of intensity like kids do. It will make an adult a little more purer and far less complicated.

Next time you find yourself highly stressed. Simply meditate. Not waiting for God to save u. Just listen for God’s  little angels crafted for their love. Silently,  listen for your grandkid’s laugh or their shriek. Even their crying. It soothes your heart and gently prods you to let go. I found this therapy to be the finest that exists.